


Cafe Archetypus|קפה אבטיפוס

by Ryuutchi



Category: Hebrew Bible
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Filk, Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-15
Updated: 2011-03-15
Packaged: 2017-10-16 23:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuutchi/pseuds/Ryuutchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And the Biblical Harlot Society meets<br/>Down at Archetype Cafe on Thursday...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cafe Archetypus|קפה אבטיפוס

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redletters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redletters/gifts).



> Original song by Talis Kimberley, and I only hope this is a decent enough reworking. Thanks to HannahROrlove and CustardPringle for making sure everything scanned and rhymed properly.

  


Based on Talis Kimberley's "Archetype Cafe": [Lyrics Found Here](http://www.talis.net/album/archetypecafealbum/archetypecafe)  


Jezebel said to Potiphar's wife  
As she called for a new round on her tab  
"I've been known to bait prophets whenever I like  
but Joseph seems more than a pet lab."  
Poti just shrugged, with an eye on her drink  
It wasn't something she wanted to replay  
And the Biblical Harlot Society meets  
Down at Archetype Cafe on Thursday...

Jael and Judith were shooting the shit  
And terrifying all of the newbies  
With stories about cutting throats and then more  
Back when they were thought beauties  
Behind the bar, Rachel poured water and wine  
Making sure that no one went thirsty  
And the Biblical Harlot Society meets  
Down at Archetype Cafe on Thursday...

Miriam called for the meeting, and Deborah, she spoke loud and clear:  
that making victims and zeroes out of hussies and heroes,  
was men filling history with fear  
So they'll tell you that Leah was jealous, Eve a betrayer and Hannah a drunk,  
They'll give you a name and story, if a male gets the glory,  
And if you'll only agree to be shrunk.

Rahab and Tamar were playing with veils  
Because they knew they'd want to go dancing  
Vashti got drunk and sang bawdy tunes  
While Naomi explained lesbos passing  
Zipporah shocked everyone, winning at darts  
Although we all knew she was handy with knife play  
When the Biblical Harlot Society meets  
Down at Archetype Café on Thursday...

And Miriam called to the speakers,  
As she led us all in the dance  
One day our daughters will speak to us again,  
Dare our sons to jump at the chance.  
Oh, they'll tell you that Dina was silent, Jael a killer,  
and Vashti a prude.  
They'll tell you that Esther was vengeful, Orpah was selfish  
And poor Jezebel has been chewed.

They'll tell you that... harlots are 'deadly' and Deborah was 'cold',  
And Leah was 'jealous', and Sarah too old  
And the Biblical Harlot Society sups,  
Drinking and dining, refilling their cups,  
And if I could tell you where that café is found,  
We could join in haMotzi on Thursday...

  


**Author's Note:**

> קפה אבטיפוס or "Kafe Avtipus" means "Cafe Prototype" or "Cafe Archetype".  
> Images for the title banner come from Stock.Xchange, and an AP photo by Tara Todras-Whitehill. The base gif for the banner is from Prince of Egypt, and was found on Tumblr somewhere, months ago.
> 
> The CD for Talis Kimberley's can be found [here](http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/taliskimberley).


End file.
